My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

National and general strip club topics.

My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby Zzzt » Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:35 am

I’ve been going to stripclubs for a little over a decade now.  I’ve been to clubs in about a dozen states.  I’ve been to dive strip bars and upscale gentleman’s clubs and everything in between.  While I have been to topless bars, my preference is for the nude clubs. 

I’ve probably seen well over 1,500 women naked in that time and I still enjoy watching women dance nude.  Going to these clubs is something I particularly like to do when I travel.  When I don’t travel, I might go anywhere from 5 – 10 times per year, sometimes more than that.  I don’t go to clubs seeking sexual release.  I go because I like to look at women.  I think the female body is beautiful and that this beauty should be celebrated, not hidden away.  The female body is a work of art. 

In the years I’ve been going to stripclubs the strippers have changed.  Overall, the changes have not been positive, in my view. Below are my gripes about strippers and a few suggestions.

Pubic Hair:
Most strippers had pubic hair when I first started going to stripclubs.  Most kept their bushes neatly trimmed with the hairs cropped short. But every now and then you’d see a woman with a nice hairy bush.  There’s nothing I find sexier than a woman with a nice, full bush (but not too full like in the 1970s).  If a woman turns to the side and you can see pubic hair sticking out about an inch from her body, that is really sexy.

Not every woman has a beautiful vagina.  Some women have ugly vaginas.  Pubic hair will hide an ugly vagina.  I absolutely hate that landing strip or whatever they call it where a woman shaves her entire vagina except for a small strip of hair above it.  What’s the point of that?  If you’re going to shave it, shave it completely dammit! 

Something I’ve never liked seeing is a stubbly vagina.  That’s a huge turn off.  If you are going to shave it, keep it shaved clean.  Razor burn and pimples from ingrown pubic hairs are a real turn off, too.  It’s better to have pubic hair than pimply razor burn pussy!

Pubic hair dresses up the female body like a glamorous woman wearing a fur coat for a night on the town.  It’s what makes a woman a woman, in part.

Tattoos:
Probably a little over half of strippers had tattoos in my early stripclub going days.  Not all did.  The ones that did have them had a butterfly on their shoulder or something small on their ankle.  Unfortunately, it seems that getting inked up is a rite of passage for strippers these days.

There is nothing sexy about an otherwise beautiful woman with graffiti all over her body.  Those big designs that go across the lower back, I can’t stand them.  I think there is a name for them…

I once saw a stripper who was partially sleeved.  She had a beautiful face and a petite little body.  But her arm was covered in tattoos.  Those tattoos were garish!  Tattoos aren’t very feminine, anyway.  Um, don’t you strippers realize that most people who get tattoos regret getting them when they get older?  Odds are you will, too.  Think about it…

I like to look at a woman’s creamy, smooth body.  I do not like being distracted by a bunch of ugly ink.  A woman with a lot of tattoos gets no tips from me, no dances, either.

Body piercings:
The mid to late 90s saw an ugly trend when it came to strippers: body piercings.  When I first went to strip clubs no women had their vaginas pierced.  Then some started getting their clitoral hoods pieced.  Labia, nipple, eyebrow, and navel piercings—there is nothing sexy about them! 

All I can think about when I see a woman with pierced genitalia is it getting all infected, crusty, and stinky.  Not sexy!

The next time I see a stripper with no tattoos, no body piercings, and a nice bush, she’s going to get a wad of cash from me.  Too bad I haven’t seen one like that in years.  Granted, strippers aren’t piercing themselves like they did at the tail end of the grunge look heyday.  But there are still a few out there who are.

Friendliness And Intellect:
I don’t go to strip clubs for conversation.  If I wanted to talk to a woman, which I really don’t these days, I’d go to a bar or someplace else where I might find lonely women.  However, I like a little friendly interaction.  Sitting down to chat for a minute is nice.  Talking my ear off for a half hour isn’t, unless I know you well from numerous prior visits.  Be nice, friendly, and take a few seconds to say “hi” to me.  You don’t have to kill your productivity by spending an inordinate amount of time with me.  But, if you make a positive impression and show some personality, if only briefly, I may buy a dance from you later.

Also, showing us guys that you have a brain is a real positive.  Let’s face it, strippers don’t have the best reputation.  But, there are some strippers out there who are smart and are stripping to pay for college.  We guys do respect that.

One more thing:  if you are going to act like a bitch, do it somewhere else.  I don’t need your bad attitude ruining my evening.  I’ve had the misfortune of encountering some incredibly mean and bitchy strippers.  That is the type of thing that makes me not want to go to the stripclub.

Hairstyles:
In my early strip club experiences, there were still women who had complex hairstyles.  A woman with simple straight hair does not impress me.  Big 80s hair is something I find really hot.  I once saw a woman once on stage stripping who looked like she just crawled out of bed.  Her hair was straight and obviously air dried.  She was wearing no makeup.  I will not tip for this lack of attention to one’s physical appearance.  However, if a woman has her hair done nice and her makeup looks good, she will likely get some money from me.

Sexy outfits:
These are things I find hot:  lingerie (particularly thigh high lace stockings, also sexy panties and bustiers), mini dresses, stretch pants or tight jeans with the seat cut out revealing the woman’s bare butt, sexy office worker clothes like blouses, skirts, and pantyhose.  If a woman strips out of a bikini, she isn’t going to get the maximum tips from me.  The same goes for cutoff shorts.  That’s not particularly imaginative or sexy.  But a woman who makes an effort to dress herself up nice (then undress her self nice) is going to be rewarded.

I saw a stripper take the stage once dressed as a business woman and let me tell you, seeing her strip out of that was very sexy!

Schoolgirl stripper:
I know some guys like to see strippers dress as cheerleaders or like little girls with pigtails, but I don’t.  I go to strip clubs to see women, not 12 year old girls.  This is also one reason why I like pubic hair.  You don’t see a lot of the schoolgirl strippers these days.  But when I have seen it, I didn’t much care for it. 

Getting a good look:
When I tip a stripper the $2 - $5 on stage, I expect to get a good look.  This means a nice clear view of the pussy and butthole.  The butthole is my favorite part of a woman’s body.  Some guys don’t like women’s buttholes because they aren’t the cleanest area of the human body.  But I do.  I love looking at the coloration surrounding a woman’s anus.  Purple, pink, brown, or sometimes they have no coloration at all.  But I’ve got to satisfy my curiosity, so I expect a good look for my money.  I don’t want anything left to the imagination. 

Body fat:
I love women with some body fat.  The highly toned, skinny stripper isn’t going to get much money from me.  Find me a nice woman with enough body fat to provide nice curves and body jiggles and she’s going to get the bulk of my budget.  I also love it when dancers turn their backs to the audience and shake their butts.

Breast implants:
Overall, I do not like women with implants.  I highly prefer women with natural breasts.  And if they do have implants, I like them to look natural, not like balloons strapped to the chest.  I’ve seen women with breast implants so bad that their nipples pointed off to the side. 

I’ve seen some strippers with breasts so small that they hardly had breasts at all.  One stripper at a club I used to go to when I was 18 seriously had no breasts and her nipples were slightly wrinkled. She later got implants.  I’ve also seen dancers with small, saggy breasts.  These are women who can benefit from breasts implants.  Most other women can do without them.

Bigger breasts are not better, in my book.  I like a woman to be well proportioned.  A stripper who is petite looks nice with small, perky boobs.  A woman who is curvier and has a bigger butt isn’t going to look good with small breasts.  Overall, it is the shape of the breast I am concerned about, not the size. 

Pole Work And Stage Show:
A stripper with a lethargic stage performance stands a good chance of not getting tipped by me.  I don’t expect every dancer to be an Olympic gold medal gymnast.  But I do want to see a performance with at least a tiny amount of enthusiasm.

Some of these dancers have had prior dance or gymnastics training.  It is nice when they demonstrate their skills on stage.  This adds to the art of stripping.

I really dislike it when I see a stripper on stage who obviously hates her job.  Her body language telegraphs it so clearly.  If you don't like stripping, don't do it!

Hygiene:
Most strippers have good hygiene.  Almost every girl I’ve ever fooled around with had at least a mild pussy odor, except for a few.  Strippers must douche constantly or something to get that odor free because most women have a smell.

One time I got a dance from a stripper who smelled like poop.  She was completely naked and pushed a chair in front of me so she could stand on it.  She stood on it and bent over in front of my face and lord god did she stink!  It was obvious that she had recently taken a big shit, probably just a few minutes prior.  That’s how bad she smelled.

Ladies, if you poop at work, and a lot of women do, please clean yourself up well.  I don’t want to smell your shit.  Also, fresh breath is nice, too.  Because you are going to lean in and ask me if I want to buy a dance and I don’t want to know what you ate for dinner.  And I don’t want to smell stale cigarette and whiskey breath, either.

Tans and tanlines:
Yes, I do like tanlines.  I like them because when I see them it is a reminder that what I am seeing is not normally available for public view.  I don’t like deeply tanned white women.  A light tan looks good.  But that dark bronze look can be a real turnoff.  I prefer a woman with creamy white skin.  Unless she's Asian or Latino, of course. 

Any thoughts or comments?

Zzzt

8)
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Re: My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby CPC » Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:05 pm

All I care about is if the girls are friendly and polite, and give you your money's worth. I also prefer high-contact clubs.
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Re: My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby Zzzt » Sun Jan 06, 2008 3:58 am

I've never had a full contact dance.  But I have wondered what they are like.  ;) 

What state are you in, CPC?  What kind of contact is there out there and what do you get for your money?
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Re: My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby Red & White » Sun Jan 13, 2008 6:31 am

I knew you were weird, but HOLY SHIT!!!! After reading this I know for a fact that you are a REALLY WEIRD MUTHERFUCKER!!!!!! Damn dude.... I wish the KOD knew who you were so they can warn the dancers and ban you from the club!!! Fucking weirdo!!!!! You are one of those guys tipping a buck or two... Lame!  Can't wait til I find out for sure who you are....................
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Re: My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby dantheman » Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:18 pm

Holy shit, that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I can just imagine you leaning in to inspect the various colors of a fat chic's asshole.
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Re: My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby YourCrazy » Sun Mar 09, 2008 9:42 pm

That was hilarious, simply hilarious.  You are one weirdo.  No hair is best, and schoolgirl outfits are hot.  I don’t mind talking to strippers.  In fact I rather enjoy being the pervert I really am.  But other than that pretty much agree.
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Re: My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby jaba » Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:31 am

I found your comments amusing. It sounded like a doctoral thesis on strip
clubs. I believe that everyone goes to strip clubs for different reasons. What turns
me on in a women is entirely subjective. It is about what I feel when I see a striper
at that moment. Yes hygiene and appearance are important but I do not think there
is anything written in stone about what that has to be or what type of hair style tattoos are acceptable. Some tattoos are sexy and some are redundant and distracting. What I see as redundant may be a turn on to someone else. That is OK.  Big tits and small tits are just what is. If a women feels comfortable with whatever she has that is what is important. Her perception of herself is more important than than the varied and conflicting perceptions of others. 
jaba
 

Re: My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby Naughty nikki » Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:48 pm

You are an idiot in my opinion it is guys like you who we girls avoid like the plague.When i see guys come in who only tip a couple bucks on stage when i am cimpletely naked with my perfect pussy in front of him i will not come back to him chances are i may put my bottoms back on and give him a lap dance while accidently kicking him in the nuts as i do it whoops
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Re: My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby L.J. » Thu Jul 19, 2012 7:53 pm

Naughty nikki wrote:You are an idiot in my opinion it is guys like you who we girls avoid like the plague.When i see guys come in who only tip a couple bucks on stage when i am cimpletely naked with my perfect pussy in front of him i will not come back to him chances are i may put my bottoms back on and give him a lap dance while accidently kicking him in the nuts as i do it whoops





A couple of bucks is standard stage tip where I come from. In rural areas its still a buck. I agree with what was said about bush and tats. Love the bush :D not the tats :( . Some times you tip when she's still clothed and the girl never takes her bottom off. We tip to see stuff. :ugeek:
L.J.
 

Re: My Stripper Gripes And Suggestions

Postby Dark Lover » Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:23 pm

Gripes I have :

strippers and/or clubs trying to scam you/rip you off

1) strippers who give fake compliments and tell me I look sexy. Most men I see at clubs are only average or below average in the looks department, hence why they are there. I know how I look and being too fake with me is a big turn off, I know it is a strip club, but keep it real please. I fall for the more blunt and honest girl.

2) strippers who put their tongue in my ear. Unless she enjoys tasting my earwax I would rather she wouldn't do it. This is something I really don't care for and if she is thinking I am experiencing any sexual satisfaction from this she is nuts.

3) Strippers who give fake BJ's. Unless it is the real thing, don't even bother. I have had strippers do this for half the song and wonder why I don't want another dance. Making fake sucking sounds, saying "yummy" and licking my pants is not something I am into. I don't feel any sexual pleasure from it and if she is drooling on my pants and i can feel the saliva dripping through them I begin to worry about contracting anything from her saliva. I would prefer they would dedicate more time to more physical touching and rubbing during the dance.

4) Giving air dances. I want a good rubbing, to feel her, and for her to get physical with me. I want to feel her body rub against mine. I love to be touched. I feel funny having to ask, but I started getting in the habbit of asking how she will do the lapdance, specifying what she needs to do, and telling strippers no air dances or I will get a different girl.
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